Feels Like I am Breathing, Feels Like I am Human
by imaythrowuponya
Summary: If you had asked Stiles two years ago what a relationship with Derek would be like, he'd probably have said rough, fast and filthy sex. He really didn't think too much about it back then, except maybe in passing because, let's be honest, he was a sixteen year old with a working libido but there were more important things to worry about. Now two years later Stiles thinks about it.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Nothing but the story is mine.  
**Note:** Based on the song Feels Like Home by Newton Faulkner. There is background Lydia/Cora, Erica/Boyd, and Isaac/Allison/Scott is you squint really hard. This is so fluffy it hurts.

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If you had asked Stiles two years ago what a relationship with Derek would be like, he'd probably have said rough, fast and filthy sex. He really didn't think too much about it back then, except maybe in passing because, let's be honest, he was a sixteen year old with a working libido and there were more important things to worry about.

Now two years later, Derek and Cora are back in Beacon Hills, Peter is dead, Scott has defended his territory from a story book's worth of monsters and Stiles thinks about it. He thinks about it when Derek laughs and Stiles can catch a glimpse of the carefree man he could have naturally grown up to be without any of the tragedy in his past. He thinks about it when the pack is settled in the renovated Hale house, watching movies and stealing each other's popcorn. Derek watches them with a small smile on his face, somewhere between wistful and dazed. Like he can't believe he got to this point. Like he thinks he might not deserve it.

Stiles considers the short list of people he knows for sure Derek has slept with: Kate and Jennifer. Both of them are memories tainted by blood and death. It's hard to imagine either of them being very… well _loving_. He thinks Derek deserves that. The more time he spends with this new happier Derek - who laughs and jokes but is still the same fiercely protective, all or nothing, punch first ask questions later guy Stiles met in the middle of the woods sophomore year of high school - the more Stiles wants to be the one to give it to him. He just doesn't know how or even if it would be well received.

Its winter break and everybody is at the Hale house to celebrate the end of finals with cheesy Holiday movies (courtesy of Lydia) and enough Chinese food to feed a small army or in this case a pack of hungry werewolves. Stiles and Lydia are the only ones who technically went away to college; Lydia to MIT and Stiles to Berkley, three hours south. There were fierce hugs all around even though Stiles comes home almost every weekend and Lydia flies back so often she might as well just buy her own plane.

Now they are all spread across the living room, flopped over or pressed up against each other in truly sickening displays of cuddling that Stiles long ago stopped pretending to hate. Derek sits on one side of the couch, Cora is sprawled out on the other with her feet in his lap while Lydia and Stiles sit on the floor in front of them. Cora's hand is softly carding through Lydia's strawberry blonde curls and Stiles leans back against Derek's legs. Boyd and Erica commandeer the love seat leaving Scott, Allison and Isaac tangled together on the floor with blankets and pillows. Stiles looks around with a smile and the last of the relentless ache caused by distance and competing schedules dissipates. They're all here, together, and Stiles feels like he can relax for the first time since he dropped Lydia off at the airport in September.

They laugh and bicker with the expected amount of violence from a group of supernatural teenagers. At one point Cora launches herself off the sofa to tackle Isaac and a tickle fight ensues. Predictably, Isaac ends up begging for mercy, tears in his eyes. But, the later it gets, the more subdued the atmosphere and sometime during _It's a Wonderful Life_ Derek falls asleep. After the movie ends, people start to leave. Cora goes home with Lydia, making Stiles the last one in the house. He watches the sleeping werewolf from the doorway, empty cups and paper plates in his hands. Warmth simmers in Stiles stomach and spreads to his heart where it twists into something huge and amazing and terrifying. _It took us so long to get here, _Stiles thinks. There were months when Derek still felt too vulnerable to sleep around other people. Even when the whole pack slept at the McCall's house, Derek sat pressed against a wall, keeping watch the whole night.

Stiles thinks again about what it would be like to crawl into Derek's lap and kiss him awake. To take it slow until it wasn't enough. To kiss down Derek's chest and take him apart, make him pant and curse and cry out in pleasure.

He's so absorbed in his own head it takes him awhile to notice that green eyes are staring back, clouded with sleep and warmth.

"Everybody leave?" Derek mumbles, running a hand over his face.

"Um…yeah. Dinner at the McCall's tomorrow night." Stiles turns away as he answers, trying to ignore the heat rising in his cheeks caused by Derek's sleep rough voice. He dumps the last of the trash into the garbage before taking a deep steadying breath and heading back into the living room. Derek is stretching, looking rumpled and delicious. The thin t-shirt he's wearing does nothing to hide the rippling of his muscles and the brief flash of skin above his waistline makes Stiles mouth go dry.

"Well," Stiles clears his throat, ignoring the fact his voice just dropped like three octaves. He doesn't know what to do with his hands so he shoves them into his pockets. "I'll ah…see you tomorrow."

"Stiles."

He pauses, turning back towards Derek.

"It's good to have you back."

Stiles heart stutters and he knows Derek heard it.

"It's good to be back." Stiles says with small smile. He knows he should probably leave, get in his Jeep and drive back to his Dad's to sleep alone in a cold bed just like every other time but he doesn't move. Can't move. Derek is just an arms length away. When did he get so close? Who cares. One more step is all it would take to put himself chest to chest with Derek and he can't remember any of the reasons stopping him. Derek's face is soft and open but his eyes are intense and they haven't left Stiles since he woke up.

"Stiles…" Derek says again, softer, and all of Stiles's inhabitations fade away. He takes the step forward, slowly tipping his head, giving Derek time to pull away. Their lips brush together, starting off chaste. Stiles threads his fingers in Derek's hair and Derek wraps his arms around Stiles's waist, dragging him closer. Stiles runs his tongue across Derek's bottom lip and the answering gasp sends shock waves of arousal down Stiles's body. The kiss turns hungrier but no less passionate. Stiles thinks he could lose himself in the heat of Derek's mouth, the feel of hands pressing firmly against his back as if Derek's afraid he's going to run away.

"Derek," Stiles gasps, panting hard. Derek's hands tighten, keeping Stiles from moving farther back than it takes to breathe. He leans their foreheads together, his hands moving from Derek's hair to either side of his face, feeling soft stubble against his palm.

"Can I stay?" Derek stiffens and Stiles quickly smooths his hands down the werewolf's shoulders and arms. "Just to sleep Derek."

"I can smell your arousal, Stiles." Derek says, not quite meeting his gaze.

"So?" Stiles ducks his head, catching Derek's eyes. "You're not ready. And I'm not here because I want sex. I'm here because I want you."

"I can't-"

"Derek," Stiles cuts him off. "Do you want me to leave?"

"Stiles…" Derek looks torn but doesn't let his arms loosen from around Stiles waist. Slowly, Stiles moves his hands back to the other man's face, dragging his thumbs across Derek's cheekbones.

"Yes or no."

"No." Derek growls, capturing his lips again in a kiss that Stiles deliberately slows.

"Then I'll stay." Stiles whispers into Derek's mouth. "And take anything you're ready to give me. We have all the time in the world."

Stiles changes into one of Derek's t-shirts and sweat pants, smirking when Derek immediately buries his nose in Stiles neck and runs his hands over Stiles clothed back like he's trying to rub the shirt into his skin. Derek drags them both to the bed, immediately curling himself around Stiles. They trade lazy kisses, exploring each other's mouth. Derek kisses both Stiles eyelids then his forehead before burying his nose in his hair. Stiles laughs quietly, wrapping his arms around Derek's waist and pressing his nose into his chest. Derek smells like cotton, earth and pine needles.

Stiles falls asleep with Derek's smile pressed to the top of his head and a warm feeling of home in his heart.

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**Comments and Likes are much appreciated:) Thanks for reading! And a HUGE thank you to my beta reader Catie for putting up with me. You can find my on tumblr at .com or on ao3 with the same username!**


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